Need to manage anger better. Why is it so hard?? Being angry and having no control over it leads me to being horribly obnoxious and in turn making life suck for everyone, plus a lot of self loathing because, god why am i such a horrible person?
I wanna be a nice big hearted person. Why is it so hard to be nice?? To some people anyway.
Those who call me passive aggressive would hate seeing me actually aggressive, if they saw what i would do when i start acting aggressively. They would thank god for my passive aggressiveness, which usually isnt even me being serious. It means im just a little ticked off.
But when im mad, im the bitchiest most obnoxious person ever and i cant even stand myself when im like that. I would feel like i dont even deserve to have friends or anyone like me at all. And in turn i feel disappointed with myself and hate myself.
Seriously, why is it always so hard to just control myself, or be a loving big hearted person in the first place??? Life would be so good because i’d be so happy all the time and nice to people and see the good side in everything. Why cant i be like that?